The Golden Arches (A Captain America: Civil War One Shot)
by TheJediAvenger
Summary: Remember Bucky, Sam, and Steve being in a Beetle? Well, my mind went wild and decided to write this. What happens when one Avenger gets stuck on a car ride with someone that is getting on his nerves? What will happen between them and how will they resolve their issues?
The Golden Arches

"Can you move your seat forward?" Bucky asks, hoping to get some much desired leg space.

"No." Sam quickly denies the request without a single moment wasted.

With a slight scowl on his face, Bucky slides to the middle of the backseat. Sam could tell that this car ride would be one of his least favorite things that would become his reality today.

 ***A Few Minutes Later***

The silence in the old Volkswagen Beetle is getting to Sam. He has to kill the silence before he starts to lose his mind. "How about some music?" He turns on the radio and then begins to slowly turn the dial until finally getting a clear signal from a station. Sam recognizes it instantly.

The song has just started as Sam could hear the faint sound of the instruments barely coming through on the cars speakers, but that soon changed as the leader of band sang-or rather screamed-his lines.

 _"We will never sleep, 'cause sleep is for the weak_

 _And we will never rest, 'til we're all fucking dead._

 _We will never sleep, 'cause sleep is for the weak_

 _And we will never rest, 'til we're all fucking dead."_

Steve is perplexed about Sam's taste in music but doesn't object. Sam suggested it first so he believes that Sam should get to chose the song he wishes to hear...even if the lyrics were a bit vulgar and the screaming didn't seem necessary.

Bucky isn't so lenient. "What is that noise?"

"That **noise** is music, great music. It's time to educate you in the ways of modern world." Sam gently turns the dial. The singer takes a gradual turn as his voice suddenly is turned into a garbled, monstrous noise. Its lyrics are near impossible to understand through the mangled, grotesque, monstrous voice and wild, sporadic beat and rhythm.

 _ **"**_ _ **IhAVELovEAndIHAveloSt.**_

 _ **IhaVetURNedaNdIhaVEToSSed.**_

 _ **IHAveliSTENedANdIhAVEatcHeD.**_

 _ **IvEGAveiNTOThisfORLOngENOugH!"**_

A scowl of disapproval and disgust, along with a tinge of fear is plastered on Bucky's face. "This isn't music. This sounds like people that are summoning Satan himself, succeeded and Satan has possessed the entire band!"

Sam simply head bangs to the heavy metal music, not hearing Bucky's disapproval or seeing Steve's eyes widen and his mouth slightly drop. He's enjoying the chaotic song.

Steve however can't take this type of music anymore. He can't focus clearly on anything, including driving the Beetle. "Sam, I can't drive with this type of music. Could you-"

 _ **SSSMMMAAASSSHHH!**_

Sam jumps in his seat, causing him to hit his head on the roof of the Beetle. Steve restrains himself to a flinch at the sudden noise. Steve and Sam look towards the middle of the dash to see that Bucky had smashed in the radio with his metal arm, completely rendering it useless and unfixable.

"Hey!" Sam massages the sore area on his head.

"Buck, I was going to have Sam switch it to something else. You didn't have to smash it. This is someone's car that we borrowed, you know."

Bucky rests his metal hand on Steve's right shoulder. "No one deserves to listen to Satan yell about lack of sleep and hell. I saved the owners of this vehicle from the horrors of that monstrosity."

 ***Several More Minutes Later***

Silence once again reigns supreme inside the car between the three men. Sam leans his head back against the head rest. Steve keeps his hands at ten and two on the steering wheel like the responsible adult he is. Bucky had moved behind Steve's seat and rested his head on the window.

As his eyes lazily gaze at the passing buildings and scenery outside, he catches a glimpse at one of the signs. His mind vaguely remembers several facts about the picture his eyes focus on, until the Beetle passes by the sign. The mystery of it had been with him ever since he first saw it while on a mission as the Winter Soldier. Now that he is with his closest friend, and an ever growing pain in the ass, Bucky feels as though this time is the right time to finally figure out the secret of the place.

"Hey Steve. Can I ask a favor?"

"Really? Now?" Sam mumbles under his breath.

"What is it, Bucky?" Steve asks.

"When I was one of my first missions from Hydra, as the Winter Soldier, I was hiding in a damp alleyway for my target to walk back to his home and take him out. While waiting I continued to see many people walk into this one place. Even cars would be lined up around the place. Then on another mission I saw another place similar to it with just as many people going to it. I kept that place in the back of my mind, hoping that one day I could figure out what made that place so popular. But with all of the times I had my mind reset, I had forgotten all about it...until now. There is one nearby. I saw it on a sign we passed."

"Remembered what?" Steve wonders what this mysterious place could be.

"The golden arches."

"Golden arches?"

"There!" Bucky nearly throws himself to the front of the car as he points out the windshield at the sign off to the left side of the road. Sure enough all three of them see the golden arches on the sign, along with "1 KM" underneath. Steve chuckles at the realization of what Bucky had been talking about.

Sam's reaction is both one of disgust and unbelief. "McDonalds?!"

"If that's what it's called, then yes. McDonalds. Steve, can we go to...McDonalds? I really want to know why so many people go there."

"You can't be serious." Sam looks over at Steve. "Is he really serious right now?"

Steve ignores Sam's question and focuses his hearing on Bucky while keeping his eyes fully on the road ahead. "Well, I did say to meet at the airport in a few hours and it's only been one. We have some time to stop. Besides, I can't remember the last time we ate." Steve steers the Beetle into the left lane and then gets off at the proper exit.

The McDonalds is not far from the exit. As the Beetle rolls into the parking lot, they see that there is no one in the drive-thru lane yet. They had arrived before the rush hour traffic. The Beetle comes to a gentle stop as Steve gives Bucky a chance to look over the items on the menu.

Only a few seconds pass as Bucky easily picks his choice. "I'm ready."

"Okay." Steve turns to Sam to see him staring coldly out the windshield, as if he had something he wanted to say but couldn't bring himself to do it. "Are you ready, Sam?"

"Yeah." He says through gritted teeth.

Steve pulls the Beetle forward until his window is beside the speaker. He rolls down the window as a feminine voice greets him. "Hallo. Willkommen bei McDonalds . Wie kann ich Ihnen helfen?"

Since they are in Germany, only Steve and Bucky understand the lady's words. Sam sits in silence fuming over Bucky. Just Bucky. His very presence is being to get to Sam. Every single thing that Bucky had said or done had been annoying or aggravating to him. And the car ride was not over yet. Sam silently hoped and prayed that Steve would not team him up with Bucky. He would much rather be another teammate or by himself. Anything other than working with this ever growing pain in the ass Bucky.

"Oh Steve, can I order the food?"

"Sure. I would like a Big Mac."

"Okay. What about you, Sam? What would you like?"

The anger swirling in Sam simmers down slightly. He can't tell if Bucky is offering him something from McDonalds as an apology to him or if it was just him being considerate on purpose. Either way, he too couldn't remember the last time he had a bite to eat. He isn't turning down the offer.

"A medium McFlurry with Oreos."

"Okay. Got it." Bucky rolls down his window and attempts his first time ordering fast food. "Hallo Madame. Traurig über die Wartezeit . Wenn ich darf , konnte ich ein Big Mac , um einen kleinen Auftrag von Chicken Nuggets bekommen , und ein Medium McFlurry with Oreos ?"

" Natürlich kannst du. Wird es noch etwas für Sie?"

"Keine Madame . Das wird alles für heute sein." Bucky finishes the order without stumbling in the slightest.

" In Ordnung. Ihr Gesamt wird 8,79 € sein. Bitte ziehen, um das zweite Fenster ."

"Before I move Buck, there should be blanket on the floor back there. You're face is plastered the most out of the three of us. I don't want us to be recognized in a drive-thru of all places."

"Good idea." Bucky picks up the blanket then lays the edge of it on the window as he rolls it up, making the blanket cover his window completely from view. "Okay, we're good."

"This is ridiculous." Sam mumbles under his breath.

As the Beetle stops at the second window, Bucky quickly asks, "Can they really make all of our food fast enough for us to get to the airport in time?"

"Yeah." Steve confirms. "That's why they call places like this fast food."

After paying for the food and receiving their order, Steve gets back onto the highway to meet up with the rest of the team at one of the airport parking garages. He has Sam unwrap his burger so that he can keep one hand on the wheel. Bucky reaches into the paper back to receive his order: chicken nuggets. He figured that he can never go wrong with chicken. Not wasting another moment Sam scoops a spoonful of his Oreo McFlurry...and then lets it sit in his mouth before swallowing the odd tasting treat.

 _Why does it taste weird?_ Sam ponders to himself. _It doesn't taste like Oreos at all. It tastes...like M &Ms. _The cooled down temper towards Bucky had compounded tenfold instantly. _I may have heard Bucky say 'with Oreos" but the other words could have easily have made it '_ _ **not**_ _with Oreos'. He did this on purpose! He had to. Nobody messes up a McFlurry! I swear to God if Steve teams me up with him, I will lose my sanity from the inside out!_

 ***An Hour and One Enraged Falcon Later***

 _I can't believe Steve teamed with up with Bucky! Out of all the other people there, I ended up with him. I would have preferred Tic-Tac over him!_ As Sam and Bucky lie with their hands webbed to the floor of the airport's main building, Sam manages to reach the button to call Red Wing while the young kid called Spiderman keeps rambling on the lines of 'impressing Stark' and homework. Right on time, Red Wing latches on to Spiderman's webs before they can hit Sam and Bucky. Spiderman becomes snagged to Red Wing as he flies through a window. Spiderman's webs loosen from Red Wing, causing the young kid to fall with a yelp.

"You know...you could have led with that." Bucky states plainly to Sam.

That was the last straw and Bucky had pulled it.

"I hate you."

"What? Why?"

"Why?! You've been nothing but annoying to me this whole day. First it was over the seat, then it was about how you thought my choice in music was the "spawn of Satan", then you went on an exposition all about the golden arches of McDonalds of all things, then... **THEN** , you had the nerve to ask me what I wanted from the place and then purposefully ordered me a McFlurry with M&Ms instead of Oreos!

"I didn't mess up your McFlurry! the lady must have mistaken the M&Ms for Oreos or something."

"HOW DOES SOMEONE MISTAKE M&MS FOR OREOS?!"

"APPARENTLY, THAT LADY THERE DID!"

"LIKE HELL SHE DID! THIS. THIS WHOLE DAY OF MINE HAS BEEN ONE OF THE MOST ANNOYING, FRUSTRATING DAYS OF MY LIFE! AND IT'S ALL. YOUR. FAULT!"

With the anger that had grown rapidly from Sam's accusations, Bucky musters all the strength in him to tear his metallic hand through Spiderman's webs then swiftly stand and grab onto both of Sam's wrist, freeing Sam from the webs as well. He spins Sam around and pulls off the webs jamming his right wing before his mind comprehend the situation.

"Come on. We have to get outside and help everyone else out." Bucky runs towards the nearest set of glass doors of the building. As Sam runs to catch up with him, he hears Bucky's shout to him up ahead.

"I'll get you McFlurry with Oreos after all of this is over."

* * *

 **Song Referenced: Diamonds Aren't Forever by Bring Me the Horizon**

 **German dialogue added in because it felt appropriate. :)**

 **Hope you enjoyed this mess of a one shot!**

 **~TheJediAvenger~**


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